What's Wrong With Me (Part Deux)

...and we're back. Weren't those commercials something? Anyway, on to bachelor #3.

Libby.

Libby is the personality I am the LEAST proud of. Unfortunately, he's also the one that's in control most of the time. Libby has one goal: To accomplish as little as possible while still technically being alive. Libby would like nothing more than to watch DVDs and play video games while stuffing his face full of junk food...literally all day. In order to maximize his "downtime," he uses the talents of the other four to cut corners on the aspects of life he does not find convenient. This means sabotaging the goals of the other four individuals rattling around inside me. Libby is selfish, rude, filthy, and unpleasant. Unfortunately, you've all run into Libby at some time in our history together, and I apologize. Libby is the reason my life is going nowhere, the reason every girl I've ever been romantically interested in has kept me at at least an arm's length. I hate Libby...and this is the reason my self-confidence levels aren't exactly through the roof. The biggest aspect of my life is a person I despise. Anyway, on to the other guys.

Nathaniel

First of all, just so you know, my name is not actually Nathaniel (I needed a fifth name, so sue me.) Nathaniel is devoutly religious, by which I mean he's got a fiery passion for the gospel...a CRAVING for God's word. Unfortunately, this is the aspect of my personality that shines through the LEAST in my daily life. Nathaniel spends most of his time looking around him in wonder at God's magnificent creation, trying to pick up on His hand in every little thing that happens in life. He knows how to handle problems...just take it to God in prayer and forget about it. Nathaniel would love to be a minister...to get up to the pulpit every sunday and share his love for God with an audience. He'd love to go to his congregation members in need and use God's word to help them out. To tend to the spiritual needs of a flock of fellow sinners...that'd be the way Nathaniel would prefer to live out his days, and this is the reason I spent three years in college for pre-theological studies at Immanuel Lutheran College. However, the other four amigos have made this all but impossible for him. Nate's no good talking to strangers (what use is a minister who's anxious going over to a member's house?) Nathan has a serious problem with authority (a real handicap when dealing with the straight-laced authority figures of Immanuel,) Libby's constantly asking "what's in it for me?" and he doesn't like the answers, and Amber wants only what's best for his future wife, and the life of a pastor's wife is not a glamourous one.

And, we have our last contender: Amber.

Amber is nothing but a hopeless romantic. His one duty is to fall in love, and when he does, he falls HARD. The thing about Amber is, he's constantly evolving. Not only in the matter of which girl to pursue, (although there has been a large number over the years,) but in his approach. In middle school and high school, the strategy was: Show the girl you love how much you love her, and she's got to love you, right??? It took him an embarrassingly long time to realize the fact that that's not how it works. It has only been recently that Amber has started giving his love to the girl of choice unconditionally. If Amber loves someone, what that entails is simply this: He is thinking of her all the time, literally from the time he wakes up till the time he goes to sleep, and occasionally in dreams between then. He wants what is best for her, and he will try to protect her from any harm that may befall her. He will do ANYTHING for the girl, to the extent of going to colombia just to get her a cup of coffee...not out of a sense of obligation, not because he expects something in return...simply because he loves her. There is literally no expectation, there are no conditions...Amber's love is a gift, not a trade-off. Unfortunately, most girls either can't comprehend that, or are very suspicious. If Amber gets in a relationship, he will do anything and everything possible to make the girl feel loved, and take care of her. However, the four other jackasses up in this brain have thus far made it IMPOSSIBLE for any girl to take me seriously as a potential boyfriend, so excepting a couple dubious rendesvous(es) from the past, I have stayed a single man for my entire life. Way to go, multiple personalities, way to go.

So that's my lives in a nutshell. I hope you enjoyed it.